UNSTABLE by Abby Jean

07-04-17
I switch quick.
Don’t fuck with me bitch.
Don’t fuck with me, almost asshole.
Don’t leave me lonely.
Inevitably you’ll come back to no me.
Don’t leave me hangin’.
My fuckboy I’ll be rebangin’.
Dangerous.
I’m dangerous when left alone.
In thought alone in the comfort of my home.
Thought that skips to impulse.
Compulsive impulsive behaviour.
What’s wrong with me.
I get mad and frustrated.
I stare in the mirror at the image that appears.
Ouch.
My heart.
I feel it in my heart.
Like a caving into the dark.
Centre of my chest contracting.
As it caves it hurts.
I want to Love so bad.
And have the Love returned.
And have the care returned.
The comfort of knowingness returned.
Build.
I wanna build a foundation.
Get to know someone in depth.
In the secrets and depths of their soul.
Their being, their existence.
Anger so suddenly sadness…
I stare in my pupils.
Whisper gently, “I Love you.”
I say it again.
“I Love you.”
The rush gets me high.
Tingles up and down my spine, I Love it.
Gimme that euphoric rush.
That addictive feeling.
Ahhhhhh….
Love.
Let me bask in it, immerse in it.
Make light of the worst of it.
Dearest Love frequency.
Please, just stabilize me.

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