PURITY by Abby Jean

June 27, 2017
Pure.
Purity.
He’s so pure to me.
So pure when compared to me.
So pure when up against me.

I feel I’m the tainted one.
I know I’ve always been tainted.
But the ones I’ve dated are more tainted than me.
In plain sight it’s plain to see the script’s flipped.
He’s more pure than me.

Makes me self-conscious.
I start losing my confidence.
What if he thinks… I’m too crazy.
Vertigo, headrush, vision becomes hazy.
My everything dizzy in a daze of crazy.

My chest starts squeezing.
My lungs start queezing.
No, don’t worry, no sneezing.
Thoughts of him not liking me.
Turns my stomach.

He came to see me yesterday.
Picked me up from work.
Like a generous, thoughtful, sweet husband…
Taking, making the time between work.
He moves me to levels inconceivable.

He drove across states to see me, I’m mesmerized.
States, across borders, into provinces…
Exhale.
Who does that for me besides he?
Who’s so willing… wild… passionate?

Pure.
Purity.
He’s so pure to me.

How precious.
How precious is he.
He’s so fucking precious.
I feel bursting from my seams!
My internals beam!

Makes me suspicious.
Suspicion makes me feel twisted.
For to suspect the innocent…
To suspect the pure…
Is pure atrocious.

So I sit in dismay instead.
While my head spins around in my head.
Waiting… not sure waiting for what.
Calming… letting go to the Universe.
Trusting… to see what returns.

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